GUEST BLOG, PHILIP DEACON: EVERYONE LOVES A TRICYCLE

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Everyone loves a tricycle.

Here are some facts.

Philip Deacon is My Training Partner The Bastard (a previous Vulpine blog). He is very funny and proper weird. This is his website where he shows off his wonderful cycling illustrations.

He’s also on @toomanybikes

Everyone loves a tricycle.

Here are some facts:

They remind you of when you were young. A tricycle is the first bike you ever had. Sturdy. Friendly. Mine had a Sticker from Le Mans on the back of it.

It’s very stable even if you are a complete idiot. The phrase ‘easy as riding a bike’ does not apply because they’re even easier than riding a bike, they are as easy as falling off a log if the log is small and wobblesome.

Two women pretending to be a tricycle

This is cheating.

The world track stand champion rode a tricycle.

You don’t have to take the back wheels off to fix a puncture.

Good things come in threes.

A drop bar Tricycle is faster than a bicycle if one of the two bikes has a rider and that rider is on the tricycle.

If you have labyrinthitis you are still comparatively safe. Narcoleptics can also ride a tricycle without fear of grazed ear.

Less people die in bike accidents on tricycles than bicycles. Therefore they are much safer.

The rear tyres wear at half the speed so you can ride one twice as far without stopping.

It is not widely known but Leonard Nimoy and George Best rode for professional Belgian Trike racing outfits in the 1960’s before finding greater fame on the telly and that.

Leonard Nimoy & George Best, tricyclists

Leonard Nimoy and George Best show off their tricycling physiques. Damn, they fine.

You can safely powerslide a tricycle.

Several animals can be trained to ride a tricycle but almost none can be trained to ride a bike.

No-one with and ASBO rides a tricycle.

Do tricycles have a differential between the rear wheels so they don’t skip in tight turns? Only The Great Laurent Fignon could tell us.

Laurent Fignon, Paris '89, sans tricycle

If only Laurent had had his trusty tricycle that fateful afternoon in Paris.

This positive report on tricycles will galvanise the tricycle oppressed. Stand up on your pedals at the traffic lights and be counted.

Tricycles will appear in style magazines. Vulpine will do a tricycle specific knapsack or tricycle cummerbund.

In 6 months everyone will be riding one. Angelina Jolie has a tricycle.

Then the backlash. They’re everywhere aren’t they? Taking all our jobs. Mechanics refuse to service them. The nail in the coffin: Article in the Daily Mail about a brave little blonde boy who tragically gets his intestines sucked out by the unique vortex of wind created by the two wheels furiously spinning either side of his buttocks.

A small blonde boy ona  tricycle, and the impending vortex

Is YOUR child safe from the Vortex?

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