A PAEAN TO MY TRAINING PARTNER THE BASTARD

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This is Philip. I ride with him about once a week. Either MTB or road, sometimes something else bike related.He is a good friend and a complete bastard.

This is Philip.

Philip the bastard

Philip The Bastard Pretends To Enjoy Marshalling A Race (badly)

I ride with him about once a week. Either MTB or road, sometimes something else bike related.

He is a good friend and a complete bastard.

He is:

Fitter than me.
Faster than me.
Taller than me.
Skinnier than me.
Technically better than me.

When he is not calling me fat he reminds me I do have many brilliant advantages over him:

I descend ever so slightly faster than him (because I am a fat lump).
I sprint faster than him (because he is skinny and good up hills and I am a fat lump).
I have bigger calves (which isn’t difficult, believe me, but indeed they are only there because I am a fat lump).
I always have a plentiful supply of gels and bars (which would explain why I am a fat lump).
My bikes are cleaner (something to do with being a fat lump, but it was far too convoluted to make sense).

This adds up to no advantage at all. So he always waits on hills, laughs at my fear of jumps and is thankfully always ahead of me so can’t see me skittering on roots like a dizzy toddler.

He is a bastard. I am not fat.

P.S:

Philip's legs
Philip’s Legs

My massive legs

My Legs (middle chap)

He is on Twitter @toomanybikes and his website is brilliant and very funny. THE BASTARD’S WEBSITE

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